**wakes up**
“FunFact: I wasn’t actually asleep I was just resting my eyes”

If you having bae problems I feel bad for you son #2014JayZRemake

Lets all vote to stop voting

My other banana is a tomato

Man I miss my Uncle Charles ya’ll

If this war gets out of control with Israel and Palestine, the US better bring out Transformers and Star Wars robots to the fight

Half of my days go to my showers

Spider-Man’s asian. See those eyes!

Asking for a friend of a friend that knows a friend who knows a guy

[a joke]